Maya Angelou says: The reward for the doing must be the doing. When people tell her they love her work, she responds with a simple, “Thank you.” And when called a “liar, or hack or worse -I’ve been called all those things- I say, “Thank you.”. When people tell her they love her work, she responds with a simple, “Thank you.” And when called a “liar, or hack or worse -I’ve been called all those things- I say, “Thank you.“

So how would she respond to the compliment: “What is really impressive about you is that you respond with “thank you” to both compliments and critiscism, in order to be able to better focus on your work. That’s really a nice idea”? Is it a good idea to be immune to this compliment too?

To be independent from either good and negative responses to your work is an interesting idea. And perhaps this is useful for some people. For most people, including myself, I see some problems with this stance.

I don’t think it is possible for most people, or even diserable, to be immune to compliments. For one, it is dis-respectfull for the person giving the compliment. (Angelou is probable aware of that since she still responds with “thank you” to the complimenter). But my main point is: this is also a failure to use the resource that appreciation from other people is. Other peoples appreciation can be regarded as a resource, something you draw upon to in your work. And by giving compliments, you become a resource for other people so.

Another reason to stay neutral to compliments, according to the qoutes from Angelou, is that taking a complement seriously means that you have to take the acrimony seriously too. I don’t think that follows. It is quite reasonable to have to different ways to respond, or fail to respond. You can take up the compliment and let the acrimony pass by. More interstingly, Buddhist thinking gives some clues to how to respond to acrimony. Angalou says, when she is bad-mouthed, she responds with “thank you” too. That can be seen as a bit buddist, a discipline of gratitude. Dalai Lama would teach you to respond with something like “thank you for teaching me humility” when given critique or being insulted. That is actually to use the negative as a resource.

So both the compliment and the insult can be used as resources, that would require though, that the reciever is very skilled in the discipline of gratitude and resourcefullness. Most people, including myself, aren’t that good in responding to negitivity. So, I would be very hesitant to use critiscism i my own work. I’m very generous with compliments though, both direct and, in particular, by using affirming questions. Since I strive to be in position where I am a resource for the people I work with.

In the field of observation, chance favors only the prepared mind.

Louis Pasteur (1822 - 1895)

This quote from the great french scientist Louis Pasteur reminded me of one of they keys in solutions focus: the future perfect and the power of chance. By imagining, as clear as possible, how you would like a prefered future to look like, you prepare yourself to take advantage of all the chance happenings that will inevitably occur. How is that? Well, if you know what you’d like to see happening, you will prime your observational skills and notice things you wouldn’t notice otherwise.

In december I noticed that my 3 year old son was doing some odd things while we were shopping. He constantly put red, shiny objects in the shopping basket. I realized that he had a particular future in mind that made him aware of any red, shiny object that came into his way. This future image, or prospective memory, was of course christmas. This prospective memory made him notice things he wouldn’t have noticed otherwise.

It is easy to see how this is useful in an organisation. Work not only with goals but also with “the other side of the goal”: the solution pattern. The solution patterns is what goal-achievement looks like: what happens when the goal is met, what will be different, how will people behave differently, what will the effects be, and so on. This will prepare you to notice and take advantage of any chance event that may happen. This is quite consistent with findings by Brittish psychologist Richard Wiseman, who studied the habits of lucky people. A couple of “luck-enhancing” behaviors were: notice lucky incidents and create self-fulfilling prophesis. A succesful leader not only controls the controlable, but also -by preparing the mind- has some control over change, the seemingly un-controlable. For the swedish speaker who wants more ideas on luck, take a look at my video-blog on luck here